Writings on the Wall

What’s The Next Step

Who’d of thought it’d come to this-

And this is how it’d be?

And when all the dust had settled,

And the gray clouds moved away.

No one would of figured,

I know I never thought.

That we could reach this point again-

Past happiness revived.

But now it’s at a turning point-

A decision to be made by me.

If I take the daring path,

I fear my friends and what they’d say.

But I can’t help but think of the past,

And all the amazing memories it brought.

I think I’ll just let it all sink in-

And dwell more after you've arrived.

Everythings A Little Different

Everything’s a little different cause your not here to walk with me,
The way I feel, the sights I see, its not the way it used to be.

Your not here comfort me, to tease about, to hold my hand,
Why things happen I can’t quite seem to understand.

There’s some things I can’t begin to explain today,
Like how your words felt like hugs in some sort of way.

I guess I’ll take everything one day at a time.
And slowly let my feelings drip out in a rhyme.

I Pretend

So maybe I pretend I’m ok.
Would you believe its because I’m scared.
What if I told you that its because I don’t know how to make the pain go away.
I can promise you wouldn’t know what to do if you knew how much I really cared.

So maybe I choose not to meltdown for all to see.
And I hide alone in my room looking at some photographs.
What you need to understand is that’s just me-being me.
Missing the tickling, the cuddling, and little laughs.

So maybe I do pretend I’ll be alright.
To prevent all the tears only you could mend.
All so I can avoid crying alone so late at night.
Because if your not here, theres no one for which I can depend.

So next time you feel confused.
Like my emotions have come to the ultimate end.
And feel that maybe my feelings are misused.
Just remember, that I do...pretend.

Walk With Me

What do I have to do?
To have you to walk along with me.
I don’t mind if you tag along, speed ahead, or trail behind.
Just be with me at the end.

How could I prove that I know the way.
And I know the safe path to the place you want to find.
If you’d close your eyes, and take my hand.
I could promise you a grand utopia.

But first you have to trust.
First you need to understand.

I'm gonna miss you...a lot! **kiss**

I Stayed in Bed All Day

I slept til noon in my bed today,

Stayed in bed and didn’t move.

My eyes were shut with pillow tight,

And my mind was far from last night.

When I woke in bed today,

I didn’t leave I simply stayed-

I wondered how much of this sleep I could take.

Realizing that I truly had no reason to awake.

I wanted to stay in bed all day.

Remembering this was the last place-

The last place I laid with him yesterday.

Reason enough to want to stay.

He wasn’t next to me in bed today.

He won’t be there tomorrow.

I got patience that’s gonna grow

He’ll be there soon enough though.

Why did I climb out of bed today?

I was feeling all safe and content-

All snuggled tight just laying there,

There was one thing missing, it’s not fair-

When I got out of bed today.

I had to face my fear,

At first I busied to keep from feeling-

Keep myself occupied, and the emotions from fleeing.

For when I got out of bed today.

I did the things I had to do.

The radio played.

The tears fell-

I shouldn’t of gotten out of bed today.

Found this one the other day. . .

Dislike

I hate that because of you Im cryin myself to sleep tonight

I hate that because of you this smile doesnt last so long

I hate that only you can be me feel that way

I hate that you dont belong to me

I hate that my feelings belongs to you

I hate that you dont know that yet

I hate that you probably never will

I hate that shes the one that gets to hold you

I hate that shes the one that you think about

I hate that I still want you

I hate that I cant stop thinking about you

I hate that youre the reason that Im sad

I hate that Im not the reason youre happy

I hate that you have no idea I feel this way

I hate that we havent had our first kiss

I hate that Ive thought about it often

I hate that everyone knows

I hate that you dont

I hate that I feel so alone

I hate that your are always here

Aren't these the questions we always want to ask them, but we never have the courage to ask...then we find out the hard way...

Questions

Would you hold me tight,

If my world wasnt going quiet alright?

Would you put up a fight,

If I said what youre doing aint right?

Would you take it slow,

If I told you I wanted to see this grow?

Would you never let go,

If I promised you would always be my beau?

Would you stay with me all night,

Even if you didnt believed in love at first sight?

Would you never turn out the light,

If I promised to hold on with all my might?

Would you let your true feelings flow,

If I kept mine hidden down low?

Would you pretend you didnt know.

If my true feelings started to show?

Short, sweet and to the point

Vanish

Why am I so invisible to you?

Perhaps you can see me;

Or do you see right through?

So small that you just let me be.

Standing all alone with that feeling-

In the middle of the crowd.

Im silent, even if Im screaming

Screaming way out loud!

(I found this poem the other day, i think its quite good, yup even I can write a good poem everynow and then...) Man, I can't wait til I get to feel like this again...

Satisfied

Filled with mass confusion, I sit here with pen and paper, wondering.
I wonder if I will ever be satisfied or will I always be longing.
Longing for that crocked smile and tender touch.
A touch so pure and innocent it brings tears to a villains eyes.
With eyes so crystal clear and majestic you stare in to my heart, with you I could dream for hours.
The dream so convincing and mystifying I pray never to wake.
The only time worth not sleeping is the time I am near you.
Your words so sweet, so true.
Now I can say I am happy,

So thankful that I found you!

This is a poem that i wrote in October.....sittin under a tree by the ucky pond. I'm quite proud of this one too.

I miss the smiles,
I miss the looks,
I miss the holds,
I miss the hugs,
I miss all the things that once was
I needed time,
I needed space,
I now am happy,
I now am free,
Yet, not quite whole.
I want back the laughs,
I want back the kisses
But most importantly I dont want back you
I hope to find in time,
I hope out here in space,
Theres a someone to cherish,
Theres a someone to love,
Patience I must find,
Time I must accept,
I bid farewell to pain and sorrow,
I hope to find a brighter sun tomarrow

The Mistakes

The mistake I made in life was thinking I could dream

That everything was perfect, everlasting it would seem.

Who am I to assume that what I had was real

Not worthy of these emotions, that only they should feel.

Every waking hour, my heads now filled with doubt

Am I taking the right path, it will be to late when I find out.

Sleep is just a mysterious treasure that I have lost.

Since relaxation no longer exists, I ponder what all of this will cost.

I am left shaking quite anxious and tense

My body in knots, I wonder if any of this will ever make sense.

Crazy I was for believing I deserved such happiness

Ive come to realize what I will have, is tears and loneliness.

Yuppers its another one :-D

I Laugh

I look back at all the silly things in life, and I laugh.

As little kids we innocently spoke amazed at the sites the world showed us.

Hushed voices beckoned us to silence,

Mothers cheeks rosed as we spoke as only children do.

Unknowing we were as to what our words truly meant.

Now we grow older, and some debate wiser.

Knowing what is allowed to be spoken.

Censoring our own voices, for many reasons,

Fear of what others think,

Speculation as to what our words may make another believe.

Though sometimes our silence is heard louder then our screams.

Silence can be a terror, as the mind wanders forever.

Children knew no better then to express their heart.

Maybe people heard what they shouldnt,

But at least they heard the truth..at least they heard it at all.

Yeah.I laugh.

Tired of Saying Goodbye

One step into my world

Just to step back.

A handshake, a hug, a lasting first impression

Turns to a wave, a tear, a sudden lose.

Barely allowing the chance to flirt with the idea of you in me life.

From a young age I learn to accept change,

Never can I recall a time I didn't say goodbye.

Knowing I'd never hear the words hello again.

Worse are the times they left without the chance to tie up the past.

Death takes some, life takes the others.

So now that leaves me unsatisfied.

But I have decided I'm here to stay,

I've planted my roots,

About to spread my wings.

I think I'll stay just like this for awhile.

This poem is totally freakin awesome...well atleast thats the feedback i'm gettin...it took a lot for me to force myself to write it... it was in my head for about 2-3 weeks just driving me crazy! So i finally was just like "Mandy, sit down, shut up, and write it, NOW!" The people that were around me when i wrote it know how upset it was makin me--reinforcing how alone i felt, but then it was done and I felt better(hense why i started writing poems in the first place)...just gotta wait my turn---i'll happen!

Cupid-I'm Ready Again

Cupid I have decided that I am ready.

I'm ready, as ready as I'll ever be.

But this time I promise i'll be smart.

This time I promise to use my whole heart.

I know in the past you've showed me the way.

I chose to ignore, and my path went astray.

Please just one more chance with that arrow.

Have faith and trust when you pull back that bow.

Just one more thing I want you to remember,

Don't give up on me no matter how hopeless I become this December.

It may take me awhile, I may become unsteady.

But I know deep in my heart that I must be ready.

I've said this before, a couple months ago.

But first I needed to reach the ultimate low.

Now I'm complete within me.

I just want that beau to keep my heart from being so lonely.

So when you decide it's my turn to fall in love again,

I'll be patiently waiting here, just tell me when.