In My Dreams

1. Must have a license.
2. Must have a car that runs!
3. No criminal record except for speeding tickets, etc.
4. Cannot be nicknamed after an American Pie (or like) movie characterexcept for Oz.
5. Brothers friends are OFFLIMITS!
6. Friends brothers are OFFLIMITS!
7. Friends Brothers friends are NOT!!
8. Must treat me like a human being.
9. R
10. E
11. S
12. P
13. E
14. C
15. T
16. Must act like they are eager to meet my folks.
17. Be funny but not too funny looking.
18. Romantic gotta be romantic.
19. Must be honest.
20. Must be sincere.
21. Treats me like an intellectual 16(18)-year-old.
22. Must be approved of by Bri and Rach.
23. Not allowed to have kissed, dated, or slept with anyone in my family.
24. Must like me for me.
25. Must have a cute friend for Tammie to at least look at. (Tammie and I aren't friends anymorez)
26. Must have a job-look whos talkin.
27. Is well mannered.
28. Can not ever admit to being completely shitfaced (hello, not a turn on!).
29. Has not broken into the home of, fried electrical sockets, or harmed any of my teachers.
30. Can deal with the fact that I like:

    Boybands

    Chick flicks

31. Is cool with the idea that school is important to me.
32. Calls if he says he will.
33. Doesnt lie to me when he doesnt do something he said he would(homework.riiiiiiiiiiiiight)
34. Isnt afraid to argue or fight with me (You can be wrong sometimes.).
35. Is not names:

    Brian

    Matt

    Tony

    Adam....(Need to add Mike to this list now too....)

    Enough already!!!! Geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez

36. Lets me go out with my friends.
37. Is allowed to go out with his friends but cannot admit to having more fun then if he was with me! DUH!
38. Tammie cannot, repeat CANNOT, refer to him as a FUCKER.PERIOD!
39. If warned by more then 4 people to stay away STAY AWAY!
40. No drugs bye bye Shane. (Damn! Looked him up in the yearbook the other day...mmm mmm mmmm!!!!) 
41. Twins are niiiiiiiiiiiiiice.
42. Does not believe the 5 essential food groups are Coors, Smirnoff, Pizza, Macaroni and Cheese, and pretzels.
43. English is his first language Ca va?
44. Doesnt think he is perfect.
45. Preferably doesnt go to LHS no dropouts either!  (Um, highschools over)
46. Lives in St. Marys, Carroll, Adams, or Harford County. Some exceptions apply. (we need to add B-more to this list STAT!) 
47. Is good at surprises. They make a girl feel special.
48. Enjoys just hanging out.HANGING OUT NOT MAKING OUT!
49. Doesnt threaten to shove one of my friends in a looker.
50. Is not a 21-year-old virgin.
51. Isnt fruity unless hes juicy (This one is for you Ashley)
52. No kids. No one is calling me Mommy.
53. Cant have a girlfriend (Or boyfriend...this is 2002)
54. No sweet talkers!
55. No mental cases!
56. No one over 20 years old. (WO there we really need to up this to lets say 23)
57. No one under 15 years old. (Ya this one is now 18)
58. No Ocean City repeats UGH...EWWWWY!
59. Reminds me of the song, "Young Love."
60. OK this one is materialistic but the boy has to look good.
61. Dude! Youre getting a Dell!
62. Sweet!
63. Dude!
64. Doesnt think of sex 24/7.
65. Has never told me how easily he "gets off."
66. Is willing to spend $50..On a date geez get your mind outta the gutter! (inside joke alert...used to be a joke that it cost $50 to get with me :-p) Hey I'm worth it....
67. Isnt afraid to give his own, stupid, no-good, useless opinion.
68. In no way do I have to lie to my parents to be able to go out with him-they approve.
69. ¬ Nuf said! And the answer is NO. (no comment)
70. Isnt a player.
71. Not a player.
72. Defends me when his friends make stupid ass, pointless remarks.
73. Can make a bed-even though the real fun is making it dirty.
74. Has met me in real life. Not a friend of a friend of a classmate of a friend of a cousin who I only know as a screen name on line. (BLIND DATE FROM HELL!)
75. When I tell him it cost $50 he doesnt ask for a free trial. Instead he offers to pay more.
76. Once a cheat. Not always a cheat.
77. ¬ If you know what channel this is without me telling youyoure a perv. (Not the Spice Channel nemore :-()
78. If you or any close relatives own a Mountain Dew distribution plant move to the head of the class you win! (I used to be addicted to this stuff)
79. Doesnt screech when he sees me without makeup-natural beauty.
80. No man is worth your tears and one who is will never make you cry.thats a lie. (All boys make girls cry-its the law)
81. Cannot judge me by my exs (B/F & crushes) and I wont judge him by the skanks hes dated.
82. Cannot refer to anyone in my family as a fucking ________, a stupid bitch, or a loser (even though she is).
83. Has a shoulder for me to cry on even if it is just because Chandler and Monica broke up.
84. Can never look at another girl and say, "Damn I wish you looked more like her!" And expect not to be kicked in the nuts.
85. In no way are you allowed to suggest that you can do better you cant...I CAN!
86. Dont say I Love You unless you mean it.
87. Cannot act different around your friends. I wanna be your friend too.
88. Cannot make fun of my pig collection, magazine wallpaper, or cute stuffed animals.
89. Please dont laugh at me. laugh with me.
90. Can sit on the phone without saying a word for 30 minutes and after hanging up feel like you just had the best conversation of your life.
91. No GAMES! Period you'll lose.
92. Must go out on at least one date before becoming boyfriend-girlfriend.
93. Cuddle, cuddle, cuddle, cuddle, cuddle. (WOW THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE-and to think i made this rule b4 i ever cuddled with a guy:-p) 
94. Cannot be fashionably late unless you look hella good.
95. Cannot want to hook up with me because you overheard me JOKING with my friends and you think I am easy.
96. Cannot be my parents friends son sorry but NO!
97. Cannot be overly mine give me space.
98. Dont be jealous-Im with you because I WANT YOU.If that ever changes Ill let you know. I wont just avoid you and halt all conversation.
99. Ok, Im stealing this one from Tammie: He cannot name his dick.
100. He cant name my boobs either.
101. You like me tell me!NOW!!!!
102. Trust the Zodiac.
103. Cannot in anyway attempt to lie to me.  Ill find out your dirty lil secrets.
104. Is not allowed to say, "Are you PMSing?" every time we argue.
105. Cannot suggest sex every time I ask what he wants to do.
106. Is into sports-not ballet, gymnastics, or ice-skating!
107. Does not have "Jimmy Disease" (That one is for you too, Ashley).
108. I dont want no minuteman-spoken like a true woman.  (Ha Ha this rule was written b4 WAY b4.....hahahahaha)
109. Can give good massagesand can tell when you need one.
110. Cannot easily be mistaken for a member of the KKK! Cant we all just get along?
111. Doesnt even consider marriage until school is over.
112. Does not tell me something because he thinks it is what I want to hear. Guess what we know when you do this, we do!
113. Does not have deer heads mounted on his wall.
114. Does not have the equivalent of small artillery anywhere in his house.
115. Doesnt expect me to know everything (make that anything) about automobilesI dont ask you to make a soufflé do I?
116. Doesnt have a subscription to more then 3-porno magazines.
117. Has never super-glued himself to well himself!
118. Can admit that you have feelingsI wont tell your buddies.
119. Looks me in the eyes when he talks.
120. Does not say after reading this list that I will be alone forever!

Send all comments and complaints to mandyarnold@hotmail.com